Forgive me for yet again violating my rule about keeping this blog ultimate-related, but I figured that as athletes, this might appeal to you all in some way.
This was supposed to be a special year for Illinois Volleyball. All the pieces seemed to be falling into place for the Illini, with four very special seniors, a top ten recruiting class, and the transfer of Colleen Ward from Florida. Laura DeBruler and Colleen Ward might just be the best 1-2 punch in the country, and any team that has Michelle Bartsch as their third option is just plain stacked. It had many predicting a Final Four berth, and even a run at the National Championship. I think even casual fans of the team could sense that there was something special about the team this year. They beat Texas, a team that was just one set away from winning the National Championship last year, in straight sets at Texas, and they beat Penn State in a five-set thriller at home, dealing the Nittany Lions their first Big Ten loss in 65 matches. Huff Hall was sold out for the first time in 18 years for that match, and I have problems recalling a college sporting event I’ve attended that rivaled the energy of that match (and I’ve been to a UConn game — albeit not at Gampel — and a Duke game at Cameron).
There were matches of utter domination, and there were matches of sheer will. This team showed its resiliency when Laura DeBruler and Erin Johnson came down with mono, when Michelle Bartsch went down with an ankle injury, and when Anna Dorn tore her ACL, ending her inaugural season in the Orange & Blue. Despite all of that, Illinois fought its way to the top of the Big Ten, arguably one of the toughest conferences, if not the toughest, in the nation.
Last Saturday evening, Laura DeBruler, undoubtedly the heart and soul of the team, ended her season and her Illinois career with an ACL tear. She hit her shoulder on the official stand and went down doing what she’s been known for throughout her career — getting a kill.
It seems like we barely got to see the team at full strength this season. Erin Johnson getting mono just after Laura DeBruler comes back from a bout with it. Michelle Bartsch going down in the third set against Nebraska, a match the Illini eventually lost after being up two sets without LDB. And just in general, too, this team seems to get hit with the ACL Plague at all the wrong times. Erin Virtue ended her season and her Illini career in ’04 (I *think* that was the year she got hurt?), and just as the team was primed for an NCAA run last season, Ashley Edinger tore her ACL, also ending her season and career. Anna Dorn went down in one of the first tournaments of the year just as she was challenging for more playing time as a freshman.
Worse yet, it seems like the fates were conspiring against Laura this season. First she missed five matches due to mono, and just when it started looking like her season was finally going to fall into place, this happens. Your heart aches for any kid who has to lose their season this way, but it breaks even more for special players and people like Laura. Obviously, she means a lot to the fans, her coaches, her teammates, and the Illinois Volleyball program. I have to admit that I shed a few tears when the news broke yesterday. I don’t know Laura personally, but I was heartbroken for her, too. I think anyone who knows anything about her or about the team probably feels that way. She’s my favorite player (if I really really had to choose), and one of my all-time favorite athletes to watch. She’s so incredibly talented and athletic (the kid can jump through the roof!), and can beat you in so many ways. I can only imagine what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a DeBruiser. You can always tell that she loves representing Illinois, she loves her teammates, and she just loves playing, period. When she’s at the net or winding up for a big swing or getting ready to serve or whatever, she has the most intense look on her face. But the moment she gets that big kill or that block or Illinois gets the point, the biggest smile crosses her face and you just wanna laugh right along with her.
She sits on top of the career kills list and is also in the top ten for career digs, a testament to her all-around game. It’s obvious that she’s someone who really put in hard work to be the player she is now, but what stands out most to me about Laura is her heart and her passion. The kid just wants to win. I remember when I had mono in high school. I legitimately slept for about a week straight. I lived in complete darkness, ate nothing, and slept all day every day. In my recovery stages, I was a zombie, and barely had the energy to make it to the dinner table to eat with my family. But in her first match back from mono, Laura DeBruler took down a lion and played against Penn State. Not just that, but she hammered home not one, not two, not even three, but four kills in the deciding fifth set. That’s just pure will and wanting to win. I can’t imagine how much she must have been hurting or how tired she must have been, but she dug deep, put the team on her right arm, and delivered. That’s what I’ll remember most about her. Getting that big kill and then just that silent, confident fist pump.
Perhaps what made me relate most to Laura is that she was kind of overlooked for her height. Despite what lots of people saw as a limiting factor, Laura worked hard and rose above to become one of the most feared outside hitters in the country. Her fellow hitters in the starting rotation are 6’2 and 6’3, and yet she’s the one the team looks to to put the game in the books. Her passion and her will to win are unparalleled. She became the best because she wanted it, because she believed in it, and because she worked for it. I know it’s not “the end” for Laura, and Kevin Hambly keeps saying that this isn’t the end of Laura’s playing days if she doesn’t want it to be the end. But it just doesn’t seem fair that this is “the end” of her career in the Orange & Blue. I believe in the phrase, “Everything happens for a reason”, but I don’t understand why this ever has to happen to anyone. Much like how I feel about Angela Bizzari, Laura has nothing to prove to anyone — you’d be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t think she’s an All-American stud on the court and a great kid off of it. Even without all the laurels and the fanfare, her teammates, coaches, and fans would love her all the same. But after all she’s done and all she’s given to the Illinois Volleyball program, she deserves so much better than to close her collegiate career like this. I know that I will really, really miss seeing #1 out there, taking off from the back line, chasing after balls, diving to save a ball, winding up for a rocket, and celebrating with her teammates. It just feels like such an unceremonious end to such an illustrious career.
It seems like this kind of thing happens a lot to my favorite players. Sue Bird went down her freshman year to an ACL tear, and Whitney Hand and Caroline Doty have both suffered early career setbacks due to ACL tears. Sue Bird went on to become arguably one of the best point guards the game of basketball has ever seen, and I know that Whitney and CD5 are going to bounce back better than ever. But when I heard about this injury ending Laura’s career in an Illinois uniform, I immediately thought of some of my all-time favorite Huskies: Shea Ralph, Svetlana Abrosimova, and Mel Thomas. In 2001, both Shea and Sveta went down to an ACL tear and a foot injury, respectively, to end their careers. That was only about a year after I really started to get into UConn basketball, but even then I still knew how much they meant to the program. NO ONE went harder than Shea Ralph. She played balls to the wall, and gave her everything during every play of every possession of every game. Svetlana Abrosimova left her home and her family in Russia and came to a country where she didn’t even speak the language to become one of the Husky greats. Both their stories are remarkable, and Husky Nation will never forget what those two women have given to the program.
Mel Thomas is a player I look up to a lot for her grit and her heart. She’s a big reason why I wear the number 25. I loved watching her play because whether she put up 20 points or 3 points on the evening, you know that she probably still won the game for UConn with her effort. And the best part of it all was that she’d get up from flying into the scorer’s table with a huge smile on her face. Mel tore her ACL doing just that, if I recall correctly. When I heard the news, I was heartbroken. I remember that it was my sophomore year in college, and I had already purchased my tickets to see UConn play at DePaul later that winter. Mel went down before I got to see them play that year, and I cried knowing that I’d never see her playing in a UConn jersey again, and when I did see her, she’d be on crutches. But even then, she was a presence for UConn on the bench, with that trademark smile on her face.
At the risk of jinxing myself, I’ve had the incredible fortune to escape any sort of serious, season- or career-ending injuries. I’ve had to sit out practices, but I have yet to miss an entire tournament due to injury or illness, and I’m incredibly thankful for it. It wasn’t until the summer between my sophomore and junior years in college that I really started to understand why lifting was so important to stay strong and to help prevent injuries. I’ve been nervous about ACL tears my whole life, first while playing basketball and now with ultimate. Every time I felt my knee buckle or tweak a little bit, my heart would sink. I know I’m not the only ultimate player out there with that nightmare of getting hurt. But I know that even if you try your best to be safe and get strong to prevent injuries, it can happen to anyone at any time. That’s what happened to Laura DeBruler. She obviously puts in work in strength and conditioning — the kid is JACKED — but this still happened to her. It’s definitely a very scary thing, and no matter how hard you work, you never really imagine that it could ever happen to you that way. I’ve seen it happen to my friends and teammates, both in ultimate and basketball, and it breaks my heart, every time.
My hope is that this year will still be special for Illini Volleyball. All isn’t lost, and there’s still plenty of talent left in the stables. I think Colleen Ward, Jo Bangert, Hillary Haen, and Michelle Bartsch will all end up having All-American years, and Jazmine Orozco is a very talented young player who’s going to impress a lot of people. The Illini will be okay, will still be in contention for the Big Ten title, and will still challenge teams deep into the NCAA Tournament. But you can’t help but feel that it’ll be a little less special without Laura DeBruler. Without her and her classmates, the Illini wouldn’t be the program they are today. When the Illini are struggling to put away a match in the fifth set, you aren’t going to be able to help but know in the back of your mind that if she was out there Laura would be slamming home those kills when her team needed her the most. Whenever the team celebrates, you’re going to be looking for #1 on the floor with that fist pump, but now she’ll have to do that from the bench.
I don’t know how she’d ever see this, but thanks, Laura. Thank you for everything you’ve given and everything you’ve done for the Illinois Volleyball program. Thank you for your blood, sweat, and tears. Thank you for your hours in the gym and in the weight room. Thank you for believing that you and your teammates could lift Illinois from the cellar of the Big Ten to the top of the national rankings. Thank you for never resting during breaks from school, and thank you for digging deep when you have nothing left. Thank you for your love and your passion. You’re an incredible ambassador for the team, for student-athletes at the U of I, and for the university in general. I know it’s probably hard to see now, but I hope you know that you’ve had an incredible career, not just as a member of the Illinois volleyball team, but as a Fighting Illini in general. We’ve been lucky to have you.
You are my favorite player to watch, and I know that I’m not just speaking for myself when I say that I’m not ready to let you go quite yet. It’ll be hard not seeing you in an Illinois uniform next year, but I wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose to pursue after this. If you go and play overseas, I’ll probably actually follow you and your classmates, which is not something I really do for any sport (not even basketball). I wish you the best of luck in your recovery and rehab — you’re a strong person, and I know that you’ll come out of this an even better player. I know you’re going to be the best mentor to Jazmine Orozco, and I know you’re going to be a positive influence and have an impact on your team even from the sidelines. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m still going to be voting for Laura every day for the Senior Class award. Everyone knows that you’re a talented player, but you’ve also always been a class act — humble, friendly, personable, and approachable. I admire your drive, your hunger, and your passion, Laura, and you’re a champion to me.
You’ve always delivered for your teammates and for your fans; I hope you know that Illini Nation loves you and will always be here for you, too.
Send your thoughts and your prayers to Laura, her family, and her teammates.
Tough times don’t last, but tough people do.
