I spent upwards of 14 hours on Without Limits stuff today. Exhausting, but really productive. I went through my spring schedule with my boss on Friday and after that conversation, started to realize that I am absolutely crazy. It really hit me tonight when I wrote Abby, Natalie, and Jane an email about the Pres Day format and when proofreading it, realized that there was no way anyone could understand what I was trying to say.
Here’s Jan-May:
Jan 2: Returned to Boulder
Jan 8-11: (stuck a couple of extra days): Savage Tournament (Atlanta)
Jan 15-16: Board meeting
Jan 21-23: SF
Jan 29: Houston Antifreeze Skills Clinic (monitored from Boulder)
Feb 5-6: Competition Committee Meeting and Pres Day Qualifier, QCTU Qualifier, QCTU Qualifier Skills Clinic (monitor from Boulder)
Feb 12-13: QCTU, Safari Skills Clinic #1 (Chapel Hill, work from Chapel Hill Friday and Monday)
Feb 19-21: Pres Day, Safari Skills Clinic #2 (La Jolla)
Feb 26-27: Atlanta or SF
Mar 5-6: MWTD, MWTD Skills Clinic (St. Louis)
Mar 12-13: Easterns, Mixer (Wilmington, work from Wilmington Friday and Monday)
Mar 19-20: SF
Mar 25: Team Registration Deadline, Centex Women’s Leadership Forum, Without Limits Throwing Mixer (monitor from Boulder)
Mar 26-27: Centex, Centex Guest Coaching Program (Austin)
Apr 2-3: Keystone Classic, Keystone Classic Skills Clinic (Philly, possibly work from Philly on Friday)
Apr 9-10: SF
Apr 16-17 and Apr 23-24: On call for Conference Championships, MBT Tryouts?
Apr 30-May 1: On call for Regionals, MBT Tryouts?
May 7-8: Marjo’s wedding (Austin), on call for Regionals
May 14-15: SF
May 21-22: Div III Nationals (Location TBD)
May 27-30: Div I Nationals (Boulder)
I love everything that I’m doing, but I know that this is not sustainable. For a year or two maybe, but beyond that, absolutely not. I’ve been slow to realize that- reading Cara’s Without Limits testimonial, conversations with close friends, the fact that people I don’t know remind me to take care of myself (is it THAT obvious?), my recent move… it has all caused me to do a lot of thinking. I don’t have a spare moment most days. It’s a ruthless cycle of: wake up, work out, work, Without Limits stuff, sleep 4 hours, repeat. But the thing is, I LOVE it. I have no idea what I would give up if I had to. I think about every project I’m working on and I get fired up because I know I am working with good people who are doing positive things.
Cara’s testimonial has weighed on my mind the most, I think. No matter how many hours I work each day, sacrifices are made. And during my time in Austin, I did indeed sacrifice precious time with teammates and friends to run tournaments. Was it worth it? I don’t know. I find myself missing those people dearly and wishing I could have spent more time with them. And now, here I am in Boulder. I don’t really have any friends here and I won’t make friends unless I invest the time to do so.
On the flip side, teams like Wash U make me feel like what I am doing has been worth the sacrifice. I am so thankful for my friendships with Abby and Sam, and I see a team that has taken advantage of every single opportunity they’ve been given, and who has also invested time and money into paying it forward. They get it and it has been awesome to watch.
Very few of the tournaments I’ve run have been for people who have been my friends before we’ve worked together. The exceptions to that are obviously Centex (my old team) and QCTU (Linds and Leila). With one or two of them, it’s been mostly just business. But with most, friendships have developed because of the tremendous amount of time spent communicating and collaborating. Some of my most valued friendships have come out of running tournaments, whether those be with collaborators or with people I’ve just happened to meet along the way. I am so thankful for those friends, and can’t imagine my life without them.
Last year, I was going through a really discouraging time with tournament stuff and Dev wrote me this awesome email that reminded me of why I do this. Sometimes it’s so easy to get lost in the planning and forget the people. I was reminded of that again writing Lang an email this week. It’s great if we’re running awesome events. But there has to be something more. I think all of my spring tournaments have the “more” component this year, but I also know there has to be a balance between my life here and the things I’m doing around the country.
Word on the street is that the Antifreeze Skills Clinic went well today. Thanks Showdown!
