I find myself being kept up this evening by these crazy memories that just kind of hijacked my brain. I miss you a lot, friend. I was just thinking about all the things I learned from you on the ultimate field, and all the ultimately more important things I learned from you off of it. I was thinking about our walks and conversations and throwing sessions. I was thinking about how brave you are, how adventurous you are, how open and hilarious you are. I don’t know how life works. I’m not sure who decides and how it is decided who stays in your life and who doesn’t. I always ask myself if I would act differently if I had known that that would be the last time. I guess I’m just grateful that we had any time together at all. I hope that one day I’ll see you again, and you’ll greet me with that familiar, too-wide, shit-eating grin on your face, and my concrete heart will melt. I will give you a big hug, and pray that I’m brave enough to tell you what you have always meant to me. Thank you for everything.
i listen to the train car hum against the rails…