a. Is there a way I can replace all the actual blood coursing through my veins with Red Bull? Like, is this a medical procedure yet? Is it disgusting that I have completely forgotten how Red Bull burned a hole in my stomach junior year of college and now just the smell of Red Bull wafting out of my garbage can gets me a little hype? This is unhealthy. (Also Mountain Dew Throwback contributed to the aforementioned hole.)
b. Club Naysh is one of many reasons I don’t fill out brackets or try to make predictions or try to sports, you know? Because I am horrible at the sports, and then I just feel wild dumb. Well, I guess I called the finals correctly, right? *foghorn*
c. Big shouts to USA Ultimate for streaming so many games. I know a lot of people took to complaining about which games were streamed and why couldn’t they watch other games and I wanted to roundhouse kick them all in probably the neck (posting about this “soon”) but I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it so much that as noted, I called in “sick” to all the things I had to do on Thursday (work, class, office hours, meeting, guest talk/lecture). On Friday morning, instead of working on my Stat problem set due that afternoon, I watched Nemesis/Fury and ended up missing class entirely (and not actually finishing the set sucks to suck). I had to go to a later discussion session to turn my homework in, and as a result I was late for work. Then because I stayed late at work I was late to hang out with the whitest girls you’ve ever met in your entire life, slash, hanging out with me and Sarah’s besties since 2009-2010. Since I missed that Thursday meeting, I rescheduled for Saturday morning. And then I was late for it because I was watching Showdown/Nemesis instead of working on the stuff I needed for the meeting. *FOGHORN* *fails graduate school* *still sucks at frisbee*
d. Playing fantasy was super fun. Huge thanks to the dudes who set that up, and here’s to hoping we’ll be able to play fantasy in all divisions one day. But honestly just this whole effort to have more stats available is great for all of us stat junkies, slash, for all of us on the brink of failing PA 818 Quantitative Tools for Public Analysis. *weeps*
Anyway, Slam Dunkingtons did not do as well as I had hoped we would. What the actual hell, guys? Thanks a lot. If I was on your fantasy team *foghorn* I would have contributed at least 987566724188 points from getting D’s and also dropping dimes (push passes but probably also scooberz) and in addition scoring without not one turnover, probably all against Fury in the championship game most obviously. But the thing is that I would also be starring for Fury, so nbd. They count warmups as fantasy points, right?
e. I was not disappointed by the Nightlock jerseys. Someone will have to report on what their cheers were. Also, if I may share a conversation I had with Ashley Chansington on March 13 of this year, a week or so after I had my wizzies taken out (this is crucial because I was still high from the half a codeine I ate. So soft, occasionally.):
me: new team name, by the way“district 12”Ashley: hahahame: our jerseys will be flames, obviously11:20 PM Ashley: obviand shorts w/gale on themme: everyone is required to braid their hair like katnissAshley: and we’ll all be number 12and on the backs of our jerseys where our last names would beit’ll say “tribute”me: captain gets “career tribute”Ashley: and we’ll have a mockingjay on the sleeve11:21 PM Ashley: and prim on the otherme: i read the other day that “katniss” was one of the 100 most popular baby girl names in 2011so there’s that11:22 PM Ashley: our discs will have bow and arrows on themme: our coaches have to be one gross white haymitch looking guy and one styling lenny kravitz11:23 PM Ashley: haha i’m sure we can find a gross haymitchbut i don’t know about cinnawho is going to be peeta?me: peeta will be our team bitch/roadiehe’ll bring us bagels.Ashley: hahahaloland paint pictures of us11:24 PM me: we’ll all have eyeblack that he’ll paint on usbut legit we should totally make a mockup of this jerz. it would be the sickest thing ever
7 minutes 11:32 PM Ashley: yesand then we’ll go out into the woods wearing themand slaughter each other11:34 PM me: just fyii’m going to go out and make alliances with everyone to get to the endand then i’m gonna fuck everyone over11:35 PM because the prize is surviving, aka gale.so all bets are off.11:37 PM Ashley: hahahai didn’t see the over part at firstand i thought you said you were going to fuck everyoneand i was liek, alright….11:38 PM me: that too, probablyAshley: haha why notme: shit happens11:39 PM Ashley: pull a jwoww11:40 PM and rip their heads off after having sex with themme: i would probably kill everyone11:41 PM that sounded horrible.i take that back.(here we talk about the ringer rule for our team)
me: “yeah, and my friends mary and jen have to be no the team, but they may or may not play. they might just double-fist beerz on the sidelines and cheer, so.”on*Ashley: hahaha11:52 PM me: i’d be the worst captain, lolsAshley: “tryouts are going to be like the hunger games”11:53 PM me: “you will only get sponsors if you make out with peeta, who i know is the worst, but you want to make the team, right?”Ashley: hahahahaand then you’ll just start pelting them w/silver parachutes11:54 PM but the parachutes will only have rocks in them(…)12:07 AM me: what i really want to do with my life12:08 AM wait, do you watch first take on espn?Ashley: haha no i don’twhat’s on it?12:09 AM me: it’s this morning sports talk show with skip bayless, who is this huge, loud, obnoxious d-bagand he has various writers on with him and they discuss the goings on in the sports worldpeople usually don’t like it because skip is a loud, opinionated d-bagwell that’s what i think we should do in our free time12:10 AM make a version of “first take” for ultimate. like the negative, hating ass version of sky’d12:12 AM Ashley: hahahahaamazingand we’ll do it in our dist 12 jerseys12:13 AM me: we will only make two jerseys. limited editionwell we can make threea long-sleeved edition for christine cheng
f. Anyway. This grab and the ensuing photo (cannot wait to see the play again when a vid gets made) gets me WILD HYPE. It makes me feel like the hard work is worth it, even if I’ll never get to that level, you know? Like you owe it to yourself to see how far you can take it, to make yourself the absolute best you can be. That photo makes me excited about that kind of improvement, like maybe next year I will actually a. catch a disc and b. complete a pass upfield.
g. This is mildly embarrassing but IDC IDC IDC IDC IDC. I have a playlist called “brolic” on my iPod that I get big to and the main components are One Direction IDC IDC IDC IDC IDC IDC IDC IDC IDC *talk to the hand emoji*, Call Me Maybe, Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, and Trey Songz. I don’t een get embarrassed when I know people can hear what I’m listening to because getting new earbuds is bougie (read: I don’t have money to get new earbuds that actually fit my ears/don’t fall out every three seconds).
h. Sometimes, the way people drive in Madison infuriates me, but then 93.1 Jamz (Madison’s Home for Hip Hop) plays Robert’s “Ignition (Remix)”, straight from the Lady Dolphin Pre-Game Playlist 2004 and then all is good in the world. It wasn’t even played in a block of throwback jams, which is the best thing.
Speaking of Madison radio stations, I heard this song on my way home from work the other day, and I just need someone to sit through that to let me know if they did or did not sample Mel B. Because if yes then: lols because were these children born when that song came out but also if no they should never have tried to imitate because Scary was the best to ever do it. Classic.
The saddest part is probably that I remembered the name of the song, went home, and listened to it on YouTube so I could figure it out. *foghorn* But also devastating that this song applies to my life. *FOGHORN*
i. The best thing about getting up at 5:30 every morning is all the wild sexual tension between me and my gym crush. Read: my gym crush does things normal people do at the gym, and then I am all, *swoon* *preggaeton* *almost drops bar on own facial*. This is real.
j. I am ecstatic that basketball season is back. And I’ve made the executive decision (read: I picked up a second job) to spring for cable so that I can immerse myself in all things hoops instead of eating away my boredom, slash, studying and doing well in school and not failing. But if you honestly think that Ray Allen to the Heat is a good thing, then I probably might could not be friends with you ever. Seeing someone that I’ve looked up to for so long play for a team that I despise so much actually hurts. This is like when Gary Payton played for both the Lakers and the Heat. *sigh*
Side bar: I have a picture of this Shawn Kemp tomahawk facial slam on my refrigerator (to remind myself that one of the greatest freak athletes of our time got wild fat and also impregnated like 28 women, and I can’t let myself get there). Let It Reign forever.
k. As mentioned, I picked up a second job this afternoon. The jobs I have are not particularly dignified — you could call me a cleaning lady — but like my mama says, you just have to do what you have to do. And for me, I just gotta work and I just gotta grind. Today was my first taste of working both jobs in one day, having a full day of class, having homework, and trying to get a workout in. It was tough but man that second job came through in the clutchington. There is nothing like getting that e-mail telling you that you don’t owe the school any money for now. My bank account was about to be a foghorn situation. Without that I can’t stay in school and eat and have a roof over my head and also eat. Right now, I’ll probably stay afloat, definitely gonna scrape by if/when I get the cable, but basketball is my life, so. The thing is, if I need the help, if I get overwhelmed, I know I can turn to my parents. But this is a reality — and it’s much, much tougher — for so many people out there. They maybe don’t have that safety net that I have. I think about that and I think about the parents who are working so hard to give their kids even just the basic things and it energizes me and it reminds me of what I’m working for and why I’m fighting. I’m barely scratching the surface of what some people do on a daily basis, and I just hope we can do something good in this world to make that struggle a little less common, you know? Onwards!
On a lighter note; bonus: This is a recent picture of me. Also this but less cute.
