Two posts in three days doing big things what. But in all seriousness, I’m just hoping to get some of my unfinished drafts done because I just got a big load off my shoulders (!). It feels great, and most importantly it’s freed me up to get back to writing for fun.
I kinda miss the fris. Sometimes I feel like ultimate is kind of like a relationship. It’s this big thing in your life that takes up a lot of time, energy, and money. It requires a great deal of commitment, and there are ups and downs that you need to negotiate if you want to continue on. If you ever have to part with it, it’s a big thing to have to get over. It takes time. But sometimes once you’re over it, you’re over it. you appreciate the relationship for what it was, but it’s not something you want again. But even though it’s done and you’re over it, sometimes you find yourself missing the little things in your relationship that used to make your day. Well, I think that describes *my* relationship with ultimate, anyway. Sadly, I believe my best ultimate-playing days are behind me (been thinking/writing about this for a while now), and so it’s not the biggest part of my life anymore, the way it was in college. I miss playing sometimes, but not as much as I miss the little things, which is probably why I started this whole series to begin with, y’know?
Hold up! You mean I haven’t totally forgotten about a series I started long ago and am actually still adding to it, despite mad lateness/y’all don’t even care anymore? Word?
(Sort of related but not really: In my first edition of this, I said that Nicki Minaj was gross. I recant that, sort of. After further observations/research, she’s not gross so much as she is kind of crazy. And I think I can dig that brand of crazy sometimes, especially when a. she appears on Top Model and comes across more sane than any of the panel, and b. she hangs out with Anna Wintour at Carolina Herrera shows. So I’ll say my b on that one and let her do whatever the h she wants to do.) (I don’t think Amil is gross either, but she is sort of gross for naming her mixtape “Amil Az Iz”. *side eye* Where, I ask you, do they do that at?)
In any case. Just some thangs that have been rolling ’round the mind grapes:
Things I Really Miss
- Sitting cross-legged. I haven’t been able to do that since I sprained my ankle over the summer. Sitting cross-legged is pretty much my default sitting position, so it’s quite uncomfortable that I can’t sit that way for longer than three minutes lest my ankle begins to feel like it’s going to explode. *le sigh*
- This one should really be “Things I Really Miss But Not Really”: Training for a marathon. I hate running. I hate how training eats up a disgusting number of hours in my day. I hate running in the heat. I hate running in the cold. I hate the dreadmill. I hate dealing with the wear and tear on my knees and shins. Also, I hate running. But now that I’m not doing it, I really miss it. I miss planning entire days around when I’d be able to run or hit the gym for a workout. I miss how disciplined the training made me, in all facets of my life, from what/how much I ate, to how much water I was drinking, to how much I was sleeping. It forced me to find time in my day to get a run or a workout in, and it made me make the most of the time I had. I miss those long hours I had to myself, on the treadmill or on the lakefront. Literally, hours to listen to my music and think and be by myself. When your brain works itself past the pain, there’s a great deal of clarity and peace to be found on the road by yourself. I don’t miss it because it was a pain, literally and figuratively. I miss it because it made me better, no matter how much I hated it.
- Gas stations. I was sitting at one the other day, waiting for my tank to fill up, and I actually laughed out loud. Road trips and our other travel shenanigans are some of my favorite memories of college ultimate. The entire affair is a laugher, from beginning to end. Never a dull moment. I’m not sure what it is — a release of the stress that’s been building up all week and all semester, complete delirium from a tiring week, being confined in a tight space with goofy people — but it’s just always so entertaining. You come away with almost more stories about the traveling experience than about the actual tournament. Gas stations, both in real life and in ultimate life, provide a respite from the tedium of the road. A time for driver switches, bathroom breaks, and candy stock ups. But for whatever reasons, gas stations are so much more fun on ultimate trips. I once used a gas station to escape from a potential serial killing highway racer that was creeping on us as we drove home on I-57 from some tournament junior year (Sectionals, maybe? I don’t remember, but I wanna say Sectionals). And a gas station spawned this absolute gem of a moment during our drive home from Centex 2010. I can’t even count all the times we’ve gotten out of the car during refueling breaks to stretch, or do plyos, or throw, and subsequently received the meanest of mugs. Those are some of my most favorite times. Silly little moments, sure, but so dear to me.
- My friends. Now that your “elite” club season is over — can we be friends now?
Things I’ve Learned
- Urban disc golf is mad cool. I played for the first time ever when I visited Margaret in Phoenix. What a fun way for intensely competitive people to heckle and rag on each other. Is there a course in Chicago somewhere? (Excluding the disc golf course on IIT’s campus, I mean.)
- I learned this one from the previous bullet point, actually, but: My backhand is atrocious. Like, I don’t even know how it’s that bad. And if I have a choice, I won’t throw it. It’s so bad. I mostly avoid it because it hurts my shoulder to throw it, but I mean even taking that aside, it’s painfully awful. Painfully.
- Songs I can NEVER skip: “Love in This Club” U(r)sher, “Ignition (remix)” R. Kell(y), “Always Be My Baby” Mariah Carey, and (ALMOST) any cover versions of those songs. Hilariously enough, I am almost positive that I have heard post-game cheers to every one of these amazing tunes.
- I should just stockpile cleats I really like, because they’re never available when I actually need them. Slash they discontinue the models I like. What is that garbage? It’s not just cleats, either, it’s running shoes, too. I still own two pairs of Kilkenny’s, which they stopped making when I was in high school. Right now I have two pairs of Nike T90s sitting in my garage, just in case. *waits*
- Rest is a really incredible thing. I gave my stress fractures entire months to heal without cheating even once, and until the end of the season, nothing really major flamed up again. This was actually the first season since my sophomore year of college that I’ve played WITHOUT (photo credit to David Hwang) the sleeve(s) (photo is Baby Amy’s — sidenote: I’m not traveling, I’m walking the disc up to the line, swears!). It felt really liberating. I’m back in it for now, but I’m hopeful that we can break up again by summer.
Things I’ve Accepted
- Out of sight, out of mind. Hurts, but it’s true.
- Running without an inhaler is just about the DUMBEST idea I’ve ever had. Last week I decided that I’d get in twenty minutes of cardio before lifting but realized that in my haste to get a workout in between running errands, I left my inhaler at home. No matter, I thought. WRONG. I barely made it to the three minute mark before I started mouth breathing like some sort of cave-dwelling dragon monster or Shaquille O’Neal running the length of the court. Normally it takes like seven minutes before I’m like that. Needless to say, I was the Mayor of Strugglesville for twenty painful minutes. Never again.
- Doing anything without my glasses is probably the second DUMBEST idea I’ve ever had. I got this ridiculous eye infection at Regionals, and it owned me for about a week. I had to walk around my house with sunglasses on at all hours of the day. I slept for about three days straight. I sat in my room with the lights off all day. It was a sad existence. Reminiscent of all my Friday nights in high school, actually. *boom roasted* But anyway, I went to visit Margaret in Phoenix of all places about a week afterwards, and everything was so bright. We played pickup, and let me just say, it was an absolute disaster. I kept whiffing on discs, I couldn’t throw to anybody except the little nine year old kid, the black guy, and the Asian guy on my team because they were the only people I could sort of tell apart from all the other white blurs. What a mess. Also, one time, I left my house to run an errand and I’m driving and I’m a block away from my house and I’m all, “Damn, it’s real foggy out.” I get to the stop sign and realize that my ratchet ass forgot my glasses at the house. Where do they do that at?
- Reality almost never lives up to your expectations. When you’re right in the thick of it, it’s hard to separate the two. I’m kind of disappointed by the way things turned out, and I’m trying to figure out how to reconcile the two things now.
Things That Are Important to Me
- Having fun. I always have fun when I’m playing ultimate. The problem is that I’m an intensely competitive person who only wants to win. I can’t lose. I hate it. The problem is that that kind of attitude isn’t always productive in every situation. Take for example, league. A lot of times, league is filled with casual players and beginners. The only way we can continue to keep our leagues viable is to continue to grow, and that can’t happen if you’re scaring away new players because you’re a douchebag. I’ve learned to really just lose myself in the fun of it all during league. It’s not that I want to win any less and it’s not that I give any less effort, but I think I’m just wound a little less tight. I don’t lose my shit over a turnover or whatever, and I actually laugh out loud A LOT. I’ve never not had fun at league. Even during spring league, when my team was god awful ultimate-wise, but super, super cool people-wise. I just enjoy the atmosphere and meeting cool people. I enjoy teaching new people how to play, and I like watching my team get better with each game. Playing with people you’re familiar with is fun too, but I always love those first few games where everyone is feeling each other’s games out and learning how each person’s skill set fits into the team’s. It’s a lot of fun to work on that chemistry and watch it build as league goes on. I’ve made some really great friends playing league, and it’s really just fun to be in your third or fourth year in the league and be able to say hello to old teammates and friends on other teams every game you play. I like it a lot, and I’m really beginning to rethink my decision not to play winter league this year, because I feel like each one of my league experiences just keeps getting better and better.
Finally, just some random thoughts I’ve been having lately:
- TOP. CHEF. CHICAGO. JUST. EFFIN’. SAYING. #chicagostrong #wemajor (I wrote this before Richie departed. Someone get me a bucket for all my creys.)
- I didn’t appreciate Janet Jackson enough when she was at the height of her fame. Just regretz. On the other hand, I think I’ve appreciated Taio Cruz about the right amount.
- That INOJ cover of “Love You Down” is some dreckitude. Mind you, I still have it on my iPod. *shame* Upon re-listen, the original version is just so much more secs-sual. I wish I understood that when I was like twelve. I play Ready for the World, she was ready for some action…
- I don’t quite know how I’m feeling about this (and I feel particularly iffy about some of the things he says towards the end), but I think I can dig the general sentiment of repping your set. Also, T.I. has said some interesting things that I’d be interested in discussing with somebody. Holler if you’d like to.
- I look like the unabomber in my community college ID photo. Unforch.
- Also, do any of y’all know where I can watch the international iterations of the Top Model series?
