Natties Roster ’09

Here as promised is the roster blog post:

The Noobs
Trying to prove themselves to the masses and just
Happy to be out of basketball or duct tape
Enthusiasms abound for these kids.

Naomi leading the pack with her height
Only to be backed by Kami and Lauren in speed
Off on the sidelines is Lee and the plyos loving Sharkbait
Bread, butts, and disc for Jizz
Seriously, the future of WUWU has arrived.

Julie Habbert aka Jizz #6
1) Possibly the whitest person ever, and is likely to take off her clothes when frustrated.
2) Will catch anything in her mouth.
3) Most enthusiastic restaurant goer.
4) Following in her sister’s footsteps: Ultimate runs in her blood.
5) Her skills on the field are matched by her skills at note-taking. Especially for other WUWUs when they are stuck in the airport post-Centex. Or Student Health after casually falling UP the stairs.
6) Ties Carolyn for best WUWU parents

Kami Groom aka Angel #7
1) 2009 South Region FOTY–and that’s after playing only one tournament.
2) Should probably ditch club basketball.
3) Eats fast food 3 times a day and only drinks milk.
4) Faster and more athletic than you. And that’s her whole family.

Naomi Campbell aka Shamu #16
1) Shares the same name as the supermodel but is neither black nor angry. She does sling mud well though.
2) Farthest WUWU from the ground.
3) Prefers to be called “NEE-omi”. In a lovely British accent of course.

Lee Wallack aka Diglett #22
1) The REAL Asian on the team.
2) Most dedicated.
3) Most likely to start an Ultimate league with children in her neighborhood.
4) Broken? Lee can sympathize.
5) Thirsty? Hungry? Lee can help a WUWU out.

Sharkbait aka Leslie DeCristofaro #31
1) Back up, her name’s Leslie? Since when?
2) Only WUWU to ever slip and face plant on the highway
3) …and use an anti-gravity booster in Connect 4.
4) Most likely to be on a field trip instead of at practice.
5) Most likely to find you on campus to throw.
6) Skips regardless of whether it’s time for plyos.
7) Sports nylon pants for easy sliding.

Lauren Krone aka [any disease you can think of] #71
1) Fav nicknames: “Syph” and “HPV”
2) Fastest WUWU, and will break the judge’s arm in a footrace.
3) Freakiest dance moves 2009
4) Recently learned how to change directions and has been burning you on the field ever since.
5) Will take your entire team in flip cup.
6) No qualms about getting toilet paper out of a tipped over Porta-Pottie.

Sophomore Shitshow
So its always been a shitshow
Originally a midget, athlete, singer, and girl who loved stuff joined
Phenomenally four recruits arrived for year two
Honestly, the class just got weirder
On and off the field

Matzah at tournaments

Or midnight study sessions the night before.
Recklessly driving or avoiding highways because of worried mothers
Eventual leaders of WUWU? We think yes.

Ellen Miller aka Bones #11
1) Can sing and camp better than you.
2) Looks like a soccer player, regardless of what sport she is actually playing.
3) Currently the head of more clubs than you’ve probably ever been in

Shayna Makaron aka Sh’Naynay #18
1) Pretty sure she’s legally a midget.
2) A small white version of Aretha Franklin. This girl accepts nothing but R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
3) #1 boobs on WUWU
4) Favorite pastime: breaking tables

Sam Huo aka Latoya aka Coolio aka PUPPY aka Freshman Sam Huo #23
1) Team gimp
2) Captain 09-10
3) Recently stripped of IAD status
4) Seconds Michelle in thinking people are awkward. When, in reality, she is awkward.

Corinne Mitchell aka Petri #25
1) The Prodigal WUWU
2) Catches with two hands. All the time.
3) Talks your ear off.
4) Noob.

Sarah Ebstein aka Q #36
1) TMI, all the time.
2) Noob.
3) Def has the worst and mos inapprops abbrevs.
4) Awkward.
5) Is convinced her rendition of the “Recess” theme song is accurate

Theresa Chan aka Spocks #47
1) Swears by wearing argyle socks when playing, and will never wear striped ones ever again.
2) Omnivore
3) Caught in a tipping Porta-Pottie at Throwdown
4) Kicking-ass in Tetris on her Game Boy Pocket since 1998.
5) Tied with Titties for geekiest WUWU: collects comic books and refuses to take the plastic off of them to keep them in mint condition.
6) Volunteered to do a disc every time we score a point at Natties; time to BUCKLE UP.
7) Noob.

Junior Jamboree
Jammin’ started in 2006 with a lonely two
Ultimate was new to these young young cross country veterans
Nobody could beat Kate’s drinking skills: discs as a freshman
Interesting when Hannah’s french tutors joined the ranks sophomore year
Outlandish that their initials were both EC (Emily Clare and Elise Christina)
Red Hat Society convinced them and a solid four was established

Just check out their sexy legs (3 out of 4 ain’t bad)
As for Emily, she rocks the Mom Butt
Make sure to appreciate their organizational ability and
Bananaface’s clever anagrams
On fire for senior year
Ready to condition
Eat more Lambert’s and
Enjoy WUWU to the fullest!!!

Kate Wilson aka Deuce aka K2 #8
1) Showers…once a week? MAYBE.
2) Can drink a disc faster than Contra.
3) The original Freshman Connection .
4) Hardcore athlete

6) Expletives fit for a queen
7) Enjoys physics conferences.

Elise Bixby aka Spike #14
1) Scariest, most manly, vicious WUWU you will ever meet.
2) Team mom
3) Will wash your post-tourney socks if you casually leave them on the field.
4) The youngest married WUWU. His name is Courtney .

Hannah Clements aka Banana Face #29
1) Naked phone conversations are a must with this one.
2) Lives in the libs but will never admit it.
3) Most normal WUWU–though if you’ve read this post up til here…it probably doesn’t mean much.
4) Vying with her ballin roommate for the most use of “tits“.
5) The original Freshman Connection.
6) Most likely to be caught biking full speed with Baller in search of tap. That, and calling people she hasn’t talked to in 3 years.

Seniors
Setting the tone for the rest of WUWU:
Eclectic
NOT normal
Inappropriate
Oh the places they’ll go
Really, right down the road at WashU Med
Still, for the rest, we expect nothing less than for them to join the ranks of WUWA!

Abby Stephens aka Nasty #1
1) The REAL IAD, and can pretty much do everything better than you. On the field and off.
2) South All-Region 2009
3) Slackjaw-er extraordinaire
4) Team Sage
5) Will sky the shit out of you (and wearing a skirt?! UGH!)
6) Captain 06-09
7) Bounciest and most obsessed

Paige Creo #2
1) Always has to go to a meeting.
2) Always takes it to the next level.
3) Takes showers even when her bathroom is infested with ants.
4) Girl goes big or goes home–settled for nothing less than Superbowl tickets and a trip to Nationals this year.

Carolyn Auchter #4
1) Showers the morning of a tournament.
2) Your tutor for math, physics and chemistry. Oh, and your RA too.
3) Never fails to get you home at least an hour before everyone else.
4) Ties Jizz for best WUWU parents

Heidi Weeks #5
1) Always knows where the bathroom is.
2) Keeps a pee chart.
3) Will break your hands with her throws.
4) Bravest WUWU: has been bald.

Julia Baller aka Baller aka Baller Baller #21
1) Team Goddess. Don’t bother lying. She’s knows the truth. She always knows.
2) Proof that you can take the girl out of the ghetto but you can’t take the ghetto out of the girl.
3) Screams the obscenities WUWU needs to hear when we’re down.
4) Vying with Banana for the most use of “tits”.
5) Most likely to be caught biking full speed with a certain Banana in search of a tap.

6) South All-Region 2006 (and FOTY) and 2009