This is just a post of second volumes, I guess. Just forewarning for those of you who don’t like to read about non-ultimate things that I’m writing the second volume to “Hold My Heart”. It was inspired by Robbie Hummel and Eric LeGrand. I’ll save the actual story for that post, but in the meantime, please send all your good thoughts and prayers to these two extraordinary young men who are going through some tough times. I’m so emotionally exhausted from reading all this horrible sports news happening to great athletes/people, I don’t think this second volume will be as long as the first one (I say that now …), so hopefully you see that up soon, if you’re interested.
Anyway, yesterday I was down in Champaign for about the millionth (read: third) time this fall. No, but in all seriousness, it was my first time down there that I had time to do non-photography related things. The first trip down was to shoot volleyball, and the second time was to shoot soccer. Yesterday was mostly about a job info session and rubbing elbows with some suits, but I had some time to do hoodrat stuff with the biggest hoodrat I know and attend practice (!!!).
Needless to say, it was one of the best Wednesdays I’ve had in a really, really long time, for a number of reasons. I really wish someone was following me and Sarah with a video camera all afternoon because of all the slow muppeting that occurred. Then we could have made a video compilation for Foster, because the slow muppet voice is her fave. But really, I don’t even remember what we talked about, just that a. there was gratuitous amounts of slow muppeting and b. we were probably shouting the whole time and making a big ass scene. Sorry ’bout it. Practice was fun. I was a little nervous it would make me miss college ultimate in a sad kind of way, but that wasn’t the case. I came away remembering all the great stuff I miss, and it made me happy instead of sad.
All of that sparked up some major nostalgia in me, so:
Things I Miss
- My college team. Obviously. 🙁
- Practicing on fields where you can run around without shoes on and you don’t have to be afraid of stepping in goose/dog/human poop, chicken/human? bones, glass, used needles, etc.
- Making the walk from the parking lot to “our tree” by our field. No matter what I’ve been feeling about practice before I get there, whether I’m dreading it or not looking forward to it or whatever, the moment I start that walk I start to get excited for practice. It’s Pavlovian, almost.
- Throwing, and how easy it used to be to find someone to throw with. And I mean just throwing for fun. Not throwing to warm up, or to get better at a specific throw. Just throwing and chatting and laughing and trying stupid things you’d never throw in a game (for me this means every throw that’s not a dump throw BOOM).
- Just simply being outside with your friends for three hours a day a couple times a week.
- Laughing my way through entire practices. I’m sure Spicy would find it hilarious, but I’m not sure that Thor would find it very productive for practices if I messed around at Spicy as much as I did in college. Well last night reminded me of how ridiculous I used to be at practice. Ripping my shorts down to give Fozz what she wanted, pulling my pant legs up (to expose my ass scars from Irwin), scaring rookies, shouting, laughing at/with Sarah, cheering after practice, being obnoxious during scrimmage, etc. etc.
- Handling with people I’ve played with for a long time. Swinging during the cup drill yesterday brought back a lot of great memories. I’m horrible at handles, but I don’t mind doing it when I’m doing it with people who make me feel comfortable back there. I keep talking about it, but there’s nothing like handling with or cutting for people you’ve kind of come up playing with. For example, there’s really no one I feel more comfortable playing with than the people from my Sen10r Drinkz class or the class before us, just because we’ve played so much together. Kim will throw to me even when Fozz is ready to sky me, I’ve never had to sky anyone for Fozz’s hucks — they’re almost always the kind I like best, the kind you have to get on your horse to run onto, and playing with Margaret seems kind of telepathic. Can’t wait for this reunion team, guys.
- The T-Bell on University. I went there last night after practice, for old time’s sake, and got the chicken flatbread five buck box. Just like eating at 12:30am after track practice. God, so good.
- On that note … indoor practice. Seriously. Not so much how I feel during indoor practices, but how close they make the team. I don’t know, it just makes you feel like you’re going through something together, like it’s something you don’t complete without the other’s help and support. They just feel so much more personal than other practices. I could go entire outdoor practices without really interacting with every player on the team, but at indoor practices, you just feel so much closer. I miss that, a lot.
Things I’ve Learned
- Kindness and generosity aren’t traits that everyone possesses. I hope that when I have something to give and to contribute to the world, that I’ll share it, in any way I can. I sort of stumbled my way into sports photography, and I’ve been so incredibly fortunate to have people who’ve helped me out tremendously along the way. I run into walls here and there, but there have been some people who have been, really, really cool with me. Whether I “make it” or not, I’m always going to be grateful for all the help, support, and kindness you all have given me.
- Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter. It’s nothing to cause a scene about, you just spend your time with the people who matter to you, and you wish the best to the people who don’t.
- Rookies will always, always make me excited, even if I don’t know any of their names. It’s exciting to see rookies make big plays, ask questions, work hard, and generally look excited about playing ultimate. It’s awesome to feel like you’re sharing one of the best things in life with someone else. It makes me wish I had cherished ultimate and the whole experience more when I was a rookie. I feel like I didn’t really start to understand what a great thing I had in my life until junior year.
Things I’ve Accepted
- I’m done playing college ultimate. It’s something I miss every now and then, but I’ve accepted that I’m done now. There will always be a part of me that misses it, for sure. An incredible four years.
- Black socks are cool. I might only wear black socks while playing from now on.
Things That Are Important to Me
- I want to stay a part of the Illinois program as long as possible. I want to go cheer/heckle at tournaments and keep hearing about how they’re doing and seeing them continue to improve. It’s really weird to me that right now, I don’t even know half of the team, but it’s still exciting to see them get into ultimate, and see them start to love the team, too. I’ve got great family with Illinois Ultimate, and I hope it continues to grow.
- Always, always finding joy in the little things. Things like taking walks around Champaign, and parking at a meter that still has time on it, and laughing with strangers when awkward encounters happen, and hanging out at Bielfeldt, and talking in the slow muppet voice, and making fun of the time Sarah peed herself/passed out before midnight/lost her phone/got roofied/etc. etc.
So like I said. A bunch of stuff coming soon. Probably more “My Best Friend” posts. Hold My Heart Vol. 2. Something about Club Naysh. HOPEFULLY my shots from soccer, if they ever get here. I’ve actually been thinking about vlogging, since my thoughts happen a lot faster than my writing, but I’ll play around with that and see what happens. I have a feeling it won’t turn out well … slash it will turn out uncomfortably awkward for everyone involved. Yikes. OH MAYBE NEXT TIME I VISIT CHAMPAIGN SARAH AND I CAN DO A LIVE EPISODE OF “MY BEST FRIEND” AT UGL. We’ll see. We’ll see.
In the meantime, Night of Too Many Stars is going to be on Comedy Central tonight at 9/8c. It’s a comedy benefit event for autism education. Text STARS to 90999 to give $10 to autism education. It’ll help to benefit a lot of kids and a lot of families. Lots of things we’re not done fighting for yet 🙂
