Still chasing those dreams, I guess …
And another club season is in the books. I’m gonna try my best to write a good reflection of the season here, but I’m getting the feeling like I won’t do a very good job of it. My season reflections are never any good … the whole picture doesn’t come to me until well after the fact. I’ll try anyway, I suppose.
After the most recent college season, I was beat the hell up. I was teetering on the edge of “retirement” from competitive ultimate, and wasn’t really sure I even wanted to try out for Spicy Tuna, the club team I had played with last summer. The experience was great — the people were hilarious and very welcoming, and I learned a great deal heading into the college season. Last summer I went into the club experience eager to learn and get my feet wet, but this summer I went into the whole thing just plain exhausted.
Matthews and Foster were both trying out, which really excited me, so I was convinced into at least trying out. Quite unforch, I played horrendously at basically all the tryouts. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to make the team, what with all the new talent that was at tryouts, but by the hammer of Thor (a-ha, a-ha), I made the team, which was hell of sweet. At first I was excited about the prospect of playing with Big Foster again, but then I realized that that would also actually entail a whole season of playing. After the beating my body, mind, and heart took after the college season, I was having a little bit of trouble committing to the club season. There were a lot of practices that I didn’t feel like going to, and a lot of them where I probably zombie-ed my way through. I was questioning my desire to play and my desire to compete. It was as much a mental/emotional thing as it was a physical thing. I feel more than a little ashamed to say this, but I thought about quitting more than once, just because I didn’t feel like I could fake my way through something that other people were working so hard for.
And then we played Dish. For probably the 983457th time. No, but in all honesty, I think maybe it was the second time we played them this season. It was our last game for the weekend at CHC, and I was hot, tired, and eager to get home (my moms had just come home from a long trip). I don’t really know how to describe Dish except as that horrible, horrible team who is way older than you, less talented than you, less athletic than you, and generally just less awesome than you (read: attractive, cool, balling, etc.) … and somehow, you always end up losing to them, for no discernible reason. Anyway, this game was a hot one. We were going back and forth, trading points and trading barbs. No one team could get the point momentum going their way, but Spicy felt different than it had all weekend. We were fired UP. The sidelines were hype, and the energy was clearly up even after a long weekend of playing. I think I actually remember being so excited that I punched Courtney in the face after throwing a backhand break to her for a score just after she had gotten a monster D. (Didn’t mean to punch her, obviously, but high fiving turns to punching pretty quickly when that adrenaline starts pumping…)
In the end, we lost this game by one point (that point was scored on me, by the by. Story of my fucking life), but it was the spark I was looking for all season. After that tournament, I think I quit sleepwalking my way through practice and finally started to play with a little fire. That’s what I had been missing — that competition, that fight, that level of ampage. And I also started to see, more and more, that my teammates were a big reason I was getting back into the game so much. Something that Shawn wrote here a couple months ago really stuck with me: “For me getting back into the game took playing with a team that let me decide my own commitment level, and playing with people that made me want to play better.”
I love that Spicy gave me the space to figure out what I needed to love the game again. I love that while everyone on the team was always real with you in letting you know when you weren’t playing well or weren’t doing something to the best of your abilities or just being a bonehead, they were also always extremely encouraging and supportive. I love that at practice, I felt myself being pushed by my teammates to step it up and play up to the level of the sick players around me — something I miss dearly from my Illinois days, when we’d beat the shit out of each other at track practices but be the first ones to cheer our teammates on during that last turn to the finish line. It was never a “step up or you’re shit” type thing, it was always more like “step up to this level because we know you can play here too”. That was sick. Once again, there are so many of my teammates that I absolutely HATE guarding in practice and look up to a lot. I’ve learned a lot from them, and I hope they’ll keep kicking my ass in practice so I can learn even more.
Now that my second club season is in the books, I think I can say that I was generally happy with how it went. Obviously, I wanted a different ending, but what can ya do? (The answer is: Saddle up and work for something different next year!) I’m happy to see that I’ve improved a lot from when I first played with Spicy last summer. I didn’t play very many points last summer, and I got to play more this summer — pretty simple to measure. I also really, really liked that we split into O and D lines, something I had really grown accustomed to when I played in China. I don’t know, I guess I just like knowing exactly what I’m gonna be out there for, knowing exactly where to focus my energy. Anyway, I was obviously very, very happy to be on D line, my one true love. I guess I just like playing with a lot of the same people and knowing what the others are comfortable with and whatnot (shout out to my Sen10r Drinkz homegirls … miss playing with ya’ll *le sigh*). I’m also very proud to report that I threw one huck in competition this year. Sick, I know. It was incomplete, but I threw it! What up! I’m also really happy that I came away feeling a lot more comfortable playing different defenses. I remember last season feeling kind of thrown and confused, but I definitely think I got a lot more comfortable with everything this season. The best part of the season is that I came away a. happy to be playing ultimate again, and b. hungrier than ever to chase my dreams until we meet up.
So while the “ultimate decision” on whether or not I’ll keep playing competitive club next year is still out for the jury, I can say that I’m happy to be playing ultimate again. I’m loving the process of playing again, and I’m happy being on the team with all the great people I get to play and laugh with. My gameplan for the off-season right now is to take a month off from any high-impact physical activities. Obviously I won’t be playing ultimate, I won’t be running, I won’t be playing intramural soccer (read: beasting in the goal) for the Thundercatz, etc. This next month is dedicated solely to rehab and strength stuff. The best rehab for my stress fractures will be rest, obviously, so the month off should do them some good. I’ll be continuing rehab/therapy for my shoulder, right knee, and quads. After this month hiatus, I’m gonna start in on my marathon training. I’ll also be doing a lot of the same stuff I did during the season, mainly weights, core work, and stretching. I’m also gonna add a jumping workout to the whole routine, probably something like Air Alert/Leg Matrix and box jumping or something of that nature. I’m also gonna find some space where I can do my agility work and hand-eye coordination stuff. I’m excited for a busy off-season!
After the pure torture and extreme masochism that was running the marathon back in the fall of ’07, I was pretty sure that I never wanted to do another one for a long, long time. And then I ran one my senior year of college. The week after, I played in about 85-90% of my team’s points at No Wisco. After that, I said I wouldn’t do another one until I was much older.
…
Well with one whole year added to my life count, I’ve decided that I’m running the Champaign Marathon this spring. I’m pretty excited for it, and am anxious to see how I do with “real” training. I ran a grand total of one “long distance” run before my first marathon, and that was a ten miler right before a Saturday practice — BAD news. For my second run, I did a little better — I did two ten-mile runs and started on a 16-mile run. Needless to say, I didn’t exactly finish that run … when I got up that morning to run, it was sunny out so I was wearing a cutoff shirt … but about a third of the way through my run, it started to rain and the temperature dropped about 15-20 degrees. I started getting dizzy, cold, and weak, and decided it was in my best interest to give up on the run, especially because I was off-campus and didn’t have a phone on me. It was mildly ridiculous. But I finished both marathons! This time around I’ll be smarter. I’ll actually train. I’ll run more than ten miles. It’ll be great, I swear.
Once I figure out how to balance long distance training with speed work, and also when I find an indoor track by my house, I’ll get to work on the track workouts. I’m really excited about getting better for next summer, not necessarily for my team but more for myself. I want to see how hard I can push myself when I don’t have a team or a group of people behind me to push and motivate me. It’ll definitely be a struggle, but I’m looking forward to it. I’m really hoping I don’t quit on myself or get scared when it gets too hard.
I haven’t decided if I’m going to play winter and spring league — I’m thinking no to winter league because playing indoors really wreaks havoc on my asthma, but spring league is a definite maybe. I keep telling myself that I need a long break from ultimate because I’ve had so much of it in the last four years, but I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep myself away…
Anyway, I’ve got a few goals I want to work on for next season:
- better throws — just all around, really. Maybe figure out a faster release on my forehands, but I think that also means I’ll need to change my grip/delivery, and I’ve already been trying that for four years to no avail soooo …
- catching discs up high, catching discs up high with one hand, catching discs in traffic.
- jumping — definitely gonna be doing something like Air Alert.
- better fakes and better pivoting.
- agility — specifically changing directions, backpedaling, turning on a dime.
Next season I’d like to be in better shape to start off the season. The beginning to this club season was, admittedly, very, very painful. Not quite sure if it was because I was just coming off of the college season hurt or if it was because I took three weeks off between the seasons. Either way, I was HIT during tryouts and that first week of practice. Bad news. Throughout the season, I’d like to be able to continue cutting/defending at top speed for longer periods of time. Definitely feel horrible when I’m just jogging around out there. I want to be a more dependable player on offense (meaning I turn the disc over less when I touch it), and I want to be stickier on defense — I don’t want the other player to be able to wear me down until I make a mistake. I guess in terms of intangible gains, I want to be more confident in my throws by next season. I know I say this every season which is kind of horrible, but I know that if I want to become the player I want to be, I’ll need to have much, much improved throws.
Like I said before, it’ll definitely be a challenge to continue getting better without the same resources I had before — a big field to practice in, indoor facilities during the winter, a track, teammates to practice with, push, and encourage me — so I’m definitely a little nervous. Should be a great challenge, though, and it’ll keep my mind occupied until I can compete again. Until then, work hard dream big.
Until next October, Sarasota …
