I seem to be doing a rather poor job of updating this blog. My apologies, though I’m sure those of you out there are not crushed or heartbroken by my lack of posts about some itty bitty baby team from Arkansas. What can I say, a lot of stuff has been going on, school wise, graduation wise, future plans wise, and those have taken precedent. But with only 30 days left before graduation, I can feel myself getting a little sad at how this chapter of my life, though needing to, is about to come to a close.
I tried playing again about 3 weeks ago. Did some drills with the girls, started scrimmaging… and the pain hit again. I couldn’t handle it. I’ve had this on going pain along the side of my knee that’s been putting me out of the game since MWTD. The next day, the pain was so excruciating that I couldn’t climb stairs without wanting to scream in agony. I sat in the kitchen of the Murphy House (this sweet little house on campus with comfy couches to read on and complimentary warm beverages), listening to my teammates giggle about something or another in the other room. I sat there, steeping my teabag. And I just wanted to cry (yeah, I know, my posts probably sound like I’m some kind of emotional basket case. In real life, I’m not, but there’s no sense in my trying to prove that to you). I could feel my leg throbbing as I thought of not being able to play in my last tournament. I thought of how I couldn’t see the trainer and how the college nurse wasn’t going to do jack shit for me. I thought about how my insurance may not cover my visit to the doctor.
Thankfully, it did, and I found out what I had guessed all along: I have ITBS, an overuse injury that has stopped me from playing for the past month and a half, making my role seem more like coach than captain. I’ve been resting, icing, doing a series of stretches everyday, taking prescription strength anti-inflammatories and praying, yes, praying, that the pain will subside enough for me to play at college championships this weekend.
It’s been the last week of official practice. Tonight is our last one. Elections were yesterday and the new captains, as well as other positions on council, were selected. To think my job is officially over come this Sunday is such a weird feeling. No more planning practices, no more carrying discs and cones, no more figuring out logistics, no more rostering players, no more playing bad cop, no more telling girls what to do, no more being momma hen to my chicks. I’ve loved this team, perhaps, at times, more than I should have, and it’s hard to think that I’m about to let this go. It’s shaped, significantly, my senior year. It has put a strain on some friendships, yet has made them stronger in the end. It has taught me a lot about myself, as a leader, a player, and a person.
I hope I can play this weekend.