If you were directed here by the Without Limits blogroll or come here because you like reading my thoughts on ultimate (lulz lulz), I apologize! Eep! This post isn’t ultimate-related, just letting you know upfront. (Surprisingly, it’s not about basketball either, my favorite go-to non-ultimate post topic. *snicker*)
Let me preface my post by saying that I’m not writing this to talk about politics or religion, about agendas or who’s shoving what in who’s face — frankly, I think we can all decide what we want and what we don’t want to see. I love ESPN but I’m not a hockey fan. Just because I see SportsCenter highlights/features on hockey/racing/whatever sport I’m not interested in, I never feel like I’m being forced into watching, or even accepting those sports as something I’d be interested in. They’re there. I’m not interested in them. No crying, whining, chest-beating, or letter-writing to ESPN is involved. Even as a child with a feeble-at-best grasp of the English language, I knew Maury was far superior to Jenny Jones and did not pay that ratchetness the least bit of attention. Point is, if you don’t like something, you’re not forced to consume it. If you want to talk about something I haven’t addressed, you can e-mail me and we’ll discuss it privately, but again, this post is not meant to make any political or religious statements. Also I probably won’t even respond because I’m terrible at responding to things, so I don’t get why I always ask for things like e-mails. Sorry ’bout it. (In the interest of full disclosure, I guess I’ll say that I’m liberal, and I was raised in a Chinese folk-religion household, educated at a Catholic primary school, and have since decided that I believe in God, but not in religion. SO THAT’S WHY I’M A FLAG-BURNING, AMERICA-HATING, SINNING SOUL-LESS HEATHEN GOING TO HELL ON A FULL-RIDE SCHOLARSHIP. It all makes sense now, right?)
A little while ago I had a conversation with a friend about the recent gravitation of media attention, both in scripted and reality television shows, towards LGBT issues and storylines. I don’t think either of us were perturbed by it, but we did agree that it’s strange that the media still has to “prove” that gay is “good” or “normal”, i.e. “Yay lulz luls teh gayz feed teh meeterz too!!1!” I guess I just don’t quite understand why it’s an outrage to see gays on television, because I have gay family, friends, neighbors, teammates, classmates, etc. etc. It’s not like “Alf“, where an alien/puppet crash lands in California and is taken into the home of a normal family AND NO ONE CRIES BOO ABOUT IT. I mean, just little to no sense and yet we’re like “O SWEET ALIENZ”. Just … what? FOH.
I guess I’ll talk about “Glee” now, because that’s what prompted the whole conversation. (But I’m gonna try not to get too into it because I’m kind of a major gleek and I might go mad overboard…) I think it’s AWESOME that “Glee” has so many different storylines and viewpoints represented. To be sure, I don’t think that the show and it’s writers can do no wrong — in fact, I frequently disagree with how they handle certain issues and storylines. I think they oftentimes take the easy way out (Mercedes and her crusade over tots? Really? Tina accepted her Asian-ness in the span of ten minutes? Really?), and they often miss the mark when they’re trying to discuss hard hard-hitting issues (bullying, for one). They manipulate their characters as they please with no regard for continuity, and sometimes they (read: Ryan Murphy) go over-over-over-over-over-overboard in order to bring a point home (St. Kurt). All that said, I love and appreciate that a television show that is as popular and mainstream as “Glee” is doing its part in shedding light on LGBT relationships and issues. Yeah, Murphy goes overboard sometimes, but I appreciate that he lets people know that gay teens need the sex talk too, or that bullying is very real and very damaging. Others may not agree with me, but I was glad to finally see Blaine kiss Kurt and Santana declare her love for Brittany.
I think it’s important for young LGBT kids to see romances and stories that reflect theirs on television. I know it sounds silly, but that kind of representation is reassuring and I believe that it goes a long way in helping kids feel comfortable in their own skin. I mean, I see REAL PEOPLE who dress like this in REAL LIFE because of how they see their favorite rappers or athletes dressing, sooooo I’d say that I don’t see the harm in showing a young kid that there are relationships for them to look forward to, that they’ll fall in love with someone wonderful one day. I know it’s not even the same at all, but seeing the UConn women play on TV when I was a little kid was HUGE for me, because I grew up watching the NBA and I was playing with an all-boy’s travel team at the time. It let me know that there were female basketball players out there for me to look up to, and that there was a bigger stage, that there was something for me to work for and be excited about.
I went through the pretty standard bullying when I was growing up, y’know, getting called poor or fat or “chink” — which I still get a lot now, actually, just got called that on my way to the dentist two weeks ago. I was jumped and beat up a lot as a kid, for something I didn’t choose or have any control over — my skin color. The sad thing is that that’s not even the weirdest thing about me, amirite? As I grew up, I dealt with a lot of other things that caused (and still sometimes causes) a lot of turmoil for me — depression, body image, my sister’s autism, among others. There have been a lot of bumps in the road and it took a while, but I’ve come to really like the person that I am, and I’m really proud of her.
I got there eventually, but I still wish that when I was that emo kid in 7th and 8th grade, wearing black nail polish, spikes, an oversized mechanic’s shirt, and oversized jeans with chains and safety pins all up in them, listening to metalcore and sad emo music in my darkened room all by my lonesome, accompanied only by my self-hatred and cryz, that I wasn’t a total loser, and that I was perfect just the way I was. I spent WAAAAAAY too much time self-hating and trying to be somebody I wasn’t.
I’m about to share something kind of personal and embarrassing, but I’ve always, always dreamt of being a mother. It’s not like, my life’s ambition and I’m not the person who wants to get married immediately and have tons and tons of babies, but I do want to be a mother some day. I still have a list of baby names from when I was a little kid lying around in a box of shame and lols somewhere. But lately, I’ve decided that I don’t really want to have kids anymore. I don’t want to bring a child into a world that isn’t going to accept him/her for who he/she is. I would never want my child to feel less than someone else, or to feel like being who they are is wrong. My parents loved me with everything in them, but they couldn’t have prepared me for the hatred, the anger, and the prejudice that awaited beyond the confines of our home. I was bullied often and hard when I was younger. I came home in tears and with bruises and cuts, but it was never as bad as it is for kids now.
There are too many kids out there afraid to be who they are. And I don’t mean the way I’m afraid to admit that I have more than a few Britney Spears songs in my iTunes library, I mean these kids are hurting themselves and taking their own lives. They’re not seeing a way out, and they’re not seeing that there is nothing wrong with them.
I know some people don’t like her, but I dig Lady Gaga, and really, I dig anyone who wants to tell people that it’s okay to be who they are. I hardcore dug “Glee”‘s “Born This Way” episode, too. (Side note: Did anyone else lo-freakin’-l at Cory Monteith in the “Can’t Dance” shirt dancing next to Heather Morris? I laughed stupid hard. Although I do generally luls gently at/with whoever’s dancing next to Heather or Harry.) I dug the commercial I saw during “Glee” tonight.
After all that rambling, I’m not eloquent enough to really elucidate why I appreciate what “Glee” is doing, so I’ll leave it to someone else. You may remember that a few weeks ago Kobe Bryant shouted an anti-gay slur at a referee. The incident was captured on camera by TNT, and Bryant was subsequently fined by the league. He gave a weak apology and is fighting the fine. (Not quite sure what the status of the fine is right now.) The best article I’ve read about the incident is written by John Amaechi, a gay former NBA player. It’s an incredible, well-written piece, and I hope you all read it, whether you agree with me or not.
I believe that we all have a responsibility to leave the world a better place than it was when we came upon it. I know that not everyone can cure cancer or lead a civil rights movement or write an award-winning novel, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still impact another person’s life in a positive way. We all have the power to do that. It could be as simple as smiling and saying “Good morning” to someone as you pass them on the sidewalk or holding the door open for a mother pushing a stroller. And it could be as big as standing up for a friend or telling them that you love and accept them for who they are, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
Stand up, stand proud, and give your best to the world. The best will come back to you, eventually.
You only get what you give away, so give love…
